Why Some Jews Only Attend Services on the High Holy Days

There is a phrase that gets used inside Jewish communities, sometimes affectionately and sometimes with a slight edge: twice-a-year Jews. Or once-a-year Jews. The people who show up for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and are not seen again until the following fall.

I want to talk about this honestly, because I think the way Jewish communities have sometimes framed this phenomenon has caused real harm — and because I believe the truth about why people come only on the High Holy Days is far more interesting and more worthy of respect than the dismissive label suggests.

The Numbers Are Striking

Synagogues across North America consistently report their highest attendance of the year on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. In many communities, High Holy Day attendance is three to five times the size of a typical Shabbat service. Venues are rented. Extra chairs are brought in. Services are added.

This pattern is so consistent and so widespread that it clearly reflects something real about Jewish identity — not a failure of Jewish engagement, but a feature of how many Jewish people actually experience and live their Judaism.

Why the High Holy Days Specifically?

The High Holy Days pull at something that weekly Shabbat services, for many people, simply do not. Here are some of the reasons I have heard from people over many years of rabbinate:

The Season Speaks to Universal Human Experience

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are about things every human being grapples with regardless of their Jewish practice: the passing of time, the desire to do better, the reality of loss, the hope for something new. You do not have to be deeply engaged in Jewish ritual life to feel the pull of a day that asks: who have I been this year, and who do I want to become?

The season meets people where they are precisely because its themes — regret, forgiveness, mortality, hope — are not niche concerns. They are the concerns of any person who is paying attention to their life.

Memory and Generational Connection

For many Jewish people, the High Holy Days are inseparable from the memory of parents, grandparents, and earlier generations. The smell of the machzor. The melody of a particular prayer. The image of a grandmother davening. These sensory memories carry enormous power, and the High Holy Days are the moment each year when they become available again.

Going to High Holy Day services is often not a statement about Jewish observance at all. It is an act of memory. A way of honoring the chain of generations that leads to you.

Something Feels Incomplete Without It

Many people who are not particularly observant throughout the year describe a feeling that the year is simply not properly closed without the High Holy Days. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur mark time in a way that feels significant — the passage into a new year, the reckoning with what the year held. For many Jewish people, secular New Year’s Eve does not carry that weight. The High Holy Days do.

Children and the Next Generation

Parents who may not attend synagogue regularly often bring their children to High Holy Day services because they want their children to have the experience — to hear the shofar, to understand what these days mean, to have a memory they can carry into adulthood. The hope is that what is planted on a Rosh Hashanah morning will grow into something meaningful later. It often does.

What I Want the Once-a-Year Jew to Know

If you are someone who comes only to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services, I want to say something to you directly: your connection to Judaism is real. It counts. The fact that these days pull you back every year — across busy schedules, complicated feelings, and maybe decades of distance — is not a small thing. It is evidence of something deep.

The tradition does not grade Jewish identity on frequency of attendance. What it values is the quality of engagement when you show up. A person who arrives at Yom Kippur once a year and genuinely asks themselves the hard questions has done something more meaningful than someone who attends every week on autopilot.

Come as you are. You belong here exactly as you are. The High Holy Days have always been the moment when the door is widest open — and at Neshamah, we mean that without reservation.

What If You Want More Than Once a Year?

Sometimes the High Holy Days reawaken something that has been dormant. People leave Yom Kippur services feeling like they want to find that quality of presence more than once a year. If that is you, Neshamah is a community built for exactly that conversation.

We offer monthly Shabbat gatherings, Hebrew school, adult education, and lifecycle events — all in the same dues-free, membership-free format that means you can explore at your own pace without any institutional pressure. And Rabbi Amy is always available to talk.

But if once a year is where you are, that is also completely fine. Your seat is always here. Reserve it at niboca.org/high-holy-days/