What Is Yizkor? A Guide to the Jewish Memorial Prayer

There is a moment in the Yom Kippur service when some people step outside. Not because the service is ending. Not because something has gone wrong. But because what comes next belongs to those who are carrying a particular kind of loss.

That moment is the beginning of Yizkor.

For those who have never experienced it, Yizkor can seem like a mystery. For those who have, it is often the part of the High Holy Days they carry longest.

What Does Yizkor Mean?

Yizkor is Hebrew for remember. The prayer is a memorial service recited four times a year in Ashkenazic tradition: on Yom Kippur, on Shemini Atzeret (the conclusion of Sukkot), on the last day of Passover, and on the second day of Shavuot. By far the most widely observed is the Yizkor service on Yom Kippur.

The prayer asks God to remember the souls of those who have died — and in doing so, asks us to remember them too. The tradition understands something important about grief: that the people we have lost do not simply disappear from our lives. They continue to live in our memories, in the values they gave us, in the gestures and phrases we inherited without knowing it. To speak a name in Yizkor is to insist on that continued presence.

Who Says Yizkor?

Yizkor is traditionally recited by those who have lost a parent, spouse, child, or sibling. In many congregations, those whose parents are both living step outside during Yizkor — a custom that developed over time and has various explanations, some superstitious and some practical, but which has become a recognizable part of the ritual.

At Neshamah, everyone is welcome to remain for Yizkor. Whether you are mourning a recent loss or carrying grief that goes back many years, whether the person you are remembering was a parent or a friend or someone the world might not have named as a close relation — you belong in the room.

What Are the Yizkor Prayers?

The Yizkor service centers on a short memorial prayer that begins Yizkor Elohim — May God remember the soul of — followed by the name of the person being remembered. This is repeated for each person the mourner wishes to honor.

In addition to the individual memorial prayer, the service typically includes the El Maleh Rachamim, a longer memorial prayer whose name translates as God Full of Compassion. It asks for perfect rest for the souls of the departed and is one of the most moving pieces of Jewish liturgy. El Maleh Rachamim is also recited at funerals and at the graveside, and many people who grew up attending Jewish funerals will recognize it immediately.

Psalm 23 is often included as well — the familiar Lord is my shepherd — which in this context becomes a prayer about the journey from this life into the next, and about the comfort of divine accompaniment on that journey.

The service concludes with a pledge of tzedakah, a charitable donation made in memory of the person being honored. The tradition understands that the most lasting memorial is not just a name spoken aloud but a good deed carried out in that person’s memory.

Why Is Yizkor So Meaningful?

There are prayers in Jewish life that are technically significant and emotionally neutral. Yizkor is not one of them.

Something about the combination of grief and community — the fact that you are speaking your loved one’s name in a room full of people who are also speaking names — creates an experience unlike almost anything else in Jewish life. The grief is not private. It is held communally. And that holding changes something about how it feels to carry it.

For many people, Yizkor is the emotional center of the entire High Holy Day season. The services surrounding it — the fasting, the prayers, the music — can feel like preparation for this one moment when you say the name of someone you love and ask that they be remembered.

It is also, quietly, the service that draws people who have not been to synagogue in years. Grief has a way of overriding the hesitation that keeps people away. When someone important to you has died, the need to mark that loss in a Jewish context — to say their name in a Jewish space — becomes urgent in a way it was not before.

Who Should Attend Yizkor Even If They Are Not Observant?

Anyone who is carrying loss. That is the whole answer.

You do not need to be a regular synagogue attendee. You do not need to know the Hebrew prayers. You do not need to fast or observe Yom Kippur in any formal way. If there is someone you loved who is gone and whose memory you want to honor in a Jewish context, Yizkor was made for you.

Many people who have been away from Jewish life for years come back specifically for Yizkor after a parent dies. There is something the tradition understands about that moment — the loss of a parent, in particular, has a way of making Jewish identity feel suddenly urgent again. Come as you are. That is enough.

Neshamah’s Free, Open-to-All Yizkor Service

The Neshamah Institute offers a free, public Yizkor memorial service on Yom Kippur afternoon. No ticket is required. No synagogue membership is required. No prior registration is needed.

This is Neshamah’s gift to the broader community — the belief that grief does not discriminate, and neither should access to a sacred space for remembering the people we love. Anyone who wishes to come and speak a name is welcome.

Rabbi Amy Rader leads the Yizkor service with the same warmth, depth, and musicality that characterizes all of Neshamah’s programming. Sharon Shear and the Neshamah Soulmates provide music that opens the heart and accompanies the grief rather than rushing past it.

If you are attending other Yom Kippur services at Neshamah, Yizkor is included in the full service day. If you are coming only for Yizkor, you are equally welcome. Please check niboca.org/high-holy-days/ for the specific time of the Yizkor service in 5787.

For all other Neshamah High Holy Day services, pre-registration is required and professional security is present. Yizkor is the one service open to all without a ticket — because some moments should never have a barrier.

Learn more and find all service details at niboca.org/high-holy-days/