Torah Big Idea #17 Apologize Everyday

Vayikra (Leviticus)

You know those most difficult two words: “I’m sorry”?

Allan Bridge, a New Yorker in the 80s, devised a genius solution. He set up an anonymous phone line and invited people to leave their apologies on his answering machine.

The apology phone worked! More than 1000 callers left messages about everything from infidelity to murder. It operated for 15 years. Bridge would often respond to callers and considered himself a kind of secular priest.

I hate to say it, but that seems a lot easier than our Jewish apology ritual of Yom Kippur. Fasting, a full day and night of prayer? Couldn’t we try the apology phone method?

In the Book of Leviticus an entire chapter is devoted to the High Priest’s process on Yom Kippur of confessing, apologizing and requesting forgiveness on behalf of the Israelite community.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z”l (Studies in Spirituality) points out something fascinating: the evolution from the first Yom Kippur to the second Yom Kippur.

The first Yom Kippur is enacted by Moses after the sin of the golden calf. Moses boldly goes to God, apologizes and promises never again, but he also threatens God that if the people are not forgiven then his work here is done. He quits.

The first Yom Kippur is Moses’ unique work and singular relationship with God. It simply cannot be repeated by anyone other than Moses. And it is, in fact, never repeated.

The second Yom Kippur is a ritual for the whole community. The High Priest follows a precise ritual outlined in this book of the Torah. This ritual was repeated in the First and Second Temple periods. After the destruction of the Second Temple, Yom Kippur was transformed to the prayer service we know today and has been in place for generations.

Rabbi Sacks argues that this transition from Moses’ Yom Kippur to the High Priest’s Yom Kippur is one of the greatest spiritual innovations of the Torah. It marks the transition of something highly particular to something that can be repeated for ages to come.

While priesthood and ancient Temple rituals are not so familiar in our modern world, I am awed by the staying power of the Torah’s values. The concept that an apology requires sacrifice, requires structure, requires an investment of time, this all feels deeply true to me. Sure, a shortcut is nice on occasion – a quick anonymous phone call. If only …

But the real spiritual growth of apologizing and asking for forgiveness, of forgiving ourselves and others, this work cannot not be abbreviated. In fact, Judaism prompts us to ask for forgiveness every day, not only on Yom Kippur. Daily self reflection and self correction is a profound teaching from the Torah for our everyday lives.