November 2025 Mayor Mamdani & The Kitchen Table Test

This is probably the most predictable sermon of all time … but I think it’s important for us to address that little thing called the NYC mayoral race. 

I’m sure you’ve heard … Mayor-elect Mamdani received 31% of the Jewish vote. 

I know some of us find that very difficult to understand and relate to. He has been explicitly anti-Israel and threatening to Jews and that is a cancelable offense for some of us. 

I know others of us feel he represents values, Jewish values even, of economic equality, affordable housing, childcare, a liveable minimal wage, and hope for a better NYC. And some Jews feel aligned with his critique of Israel given the Netanyahu government and the suffering in Gaza.

We are each entitled of course to our political opinions.

 But the trouble is that where we stand on this one election – maybe more than anything else I can think of in recent history – will cause us to fail the “kitchen table” test. 

When we cannot sit together at a holiday table, that is the real tragedy. 

And that is a loss I cannot ignore or advise. 

So the question before us tonight isn’t whether we disagree—we clearly do. The question is: How do we remain family when disagreement feels this deep, this painful, this personal?

MAKHLOKET L’SHEM B’NAI ADAM

As we explored over the High Holy Days, our tradition has a phrase: machloket l’shem bnai shamayim which I’ve reframed as makhloket l’shem b’nai adam —disagreement for the sake of humankind. 

Reminder: the characteristics of that kind of disagreement are:

Pure motivation – not to win but to understand 

Mutual respect – love the person if through disagreement 

Intellectual honesty – truth and facts not distortions

Constructive outcome – come to some reasonable action both sides can live with

But our tradition also knows something harder: shared trauma doesn’t guarantee shared response. 

The same events of October 7, caused some Jews to double down on Israel and Judaism while others see it as an impetus to fight for more “human rights” to let go of our Jewish separateness / uniqueness and join forces as human beings against all “oppression.”

This week’s Torah portion, Chayei Sarah, presents us with a complicated scenario.

Isaac and Ishmael—two estranged brothers—come together to bury their father Abraham.

Isaac was the chosen son. 

Ishmael was sent away with his mother Hagar into the wilderness. They had every reason to remain divided forever. 

Yet the text simply says: “His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah” (Genesis 25:9).

No reconciliation scene. No apologies. No resolution of their different positions in the family. 

Just two brothers, with profoundly different experiences of the same father, doing what needed to be done together.

They didn’t have to agree about who Abraham was to them. They didn’t have to pretend the pain wasn’t real. But they found a way to show up together when it mattered.

RAV KOOK

Rav Kook, the first chief rabbi of Israel, asked a deceptively simple question: 

When we disagree with someone, is their position totally wrong or mostly wrong?

Totally wrong means complete dismissal—nothing to learn, nothing to consider. 

Mostly wrong acknowledges that even in positions we find deeply troubling, there might be a kernel of truth we need to hear.

This isn’t about abandoning our convictions. It’s about remaining open to the possibility that the person we profoundly disagree with might see something we don’t.

If you opposed Mamdani: Is his concern for Palestinian lives totally wrong, even if you believe his characterization of the war is mistaken? 

If you supported him: Is the fear about Jewish safety totally wrong, even if you believe those fears are being exploited politically?

WHAT IS RIGHT

When Cuomo gave his concession speech and congratulated Mamdani, his supporters booed. Cuomo shook his head: “That is not right. That is not us.” He was correct.

Here’s what we must do:

Distinguish positions from people. 

You can believe Mamdani’s position on Israel is wrong without believing every Jew who voted for him is a traitor. You can oppose Cuomo without dismissing the legitimate fears of those who supported him.

Tell the truth about our fears. 

Jews who opposed Mamdani: your fear about his stance on Israel touches the raw nerve of Jewish survival. That’s real. 

Jews who supported him: your moral urgency about Palestinian lives is also rooted in Jewish tradition. Both deserve to be heard.

Stay in relationship. 

Rabbi Elliot Cosgrove publicly urged his congregation to vote against Mamdani. After the election, he wrote: “It’s time to turn the temperature down, build bridges of dialogue, and strengthen the bonds of Jewish New York, even as we maintain our diversity of thought.” 

Stand firm on convictions, yes. But recognize when our approach has pushed people away rather than drawing them in.

If we can sit together at Thanksgiving or Shabbat then we are arguing properly. If not, then both sides have work to do. 

DISAGREEMENT IS THE WAY FORWARD

Machloket l’shem b’nai adam  isn’t about tolerating disagreement. 

It’s about believing that disagreement—real, substantive, painful disagreement—is how we grow closer to truth. We need each other precisely because we see things differently.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, NOT PERFECTION

Isaac and Ishmael never achieved perfect reconciliation. But they achieved enough. They stayed family. They made space for each other. They chose to show up together when it mattered.

That’s our standard. Not perfect unity. Not pretending disagreements don’t matter. 

But operating with enough nuance to separate people from policies. 

Enough love and open heartedness to stay in a relationship. 

Enough humility to recognize that the person whose vote bewilders us might also be speaking words of the living God.

The Talmud tells us that both Hillel and Shammai spoke divrei Elohim chaim—the words of the living God. Not one voice. Both voices. The arguing itself was holy.

May we be worthy of that tradition.

Shabbat shalom.