During Covid, we learned the concept of social distancing … of being separate even when we’re together. Spiritually, there is also the concept of loneliness even within a shared community.
In the Book of B’midbar (4th Book of the Torah, Numbers), Moses reaches his breaking point. The Israelites are “hangry.” They are unhappy with the miraculous manna from heaven that falls daily for them and they are romanticizing their past in Egypt and the fish and meat they ate. It is the ultimate chutzpah! God has freed them from 250 years of slavery, brought them to safety and new purpose, provided for their every need including daily fresh food and water and it’s not enough.
And poor Moses, who himself has survived multiple traumas … baby in the Nile, childhood without his family, young adulthood of murder and fleeing in the wilderness, the call from a mysterious God, 10 Plagues, crossing the Sea and now these ingrates aren’t’ happy with the menu?!
Moses prays for a quick death.
If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me – if I have found favor in Your eyes – and do not let me face my own ruin.
(Numbers 11:15)
Moses has lost faith in himself and in his mission. But he is not alone. He reaches out to God and finds comfort.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z”l teaches, “Their (Moses and others in the TaNakh) very loneliness brought them into an unparalleled closeness with God.”
Sometimes it can be hard to relate to the spiritual highs of our Biblical ancestors. We’re not splitting seas and receiving manna from heaven. But this kind of sadness about the state of our world and the loneliness that can accompany such realities, does speak to me.
Over the last many years, our refrain has been – what a crazy world, how can any of this be okay or make sense? Reaching out to God may not be familiar or comfortable for some of us. But to me, this simple awareness that our ancestors also had moments of despair, also felt helpless and alone at times, this brings me spiritual comfort.
Interestingly, Rabbi Sacks teaches that even when our ancestors reached out to God, they didn’t necessarily get a miraculous cure or even a direct answer from God. The response to their call was simply not feeling as alone.
This is a “Big Idea” from the Book of Numbers.
When we are confused, struggling or even in moments of hopelessness, the Torah shows us that we are never truly alone. We have the companionship of others who have had low moments and we have the presence of the divine, in whatever manner God makes sense to us.